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 Luke Allan
Ursula Cheng
 Carolyn Angelo
Tobias Cook
 Tom Benn
Kirsten Cowie
 Emily Bone
Andrew Denholm
 Sarah Christie
Elizabeth Stewart
 Jack Clark
Eileen Glass
 Edward Keeble
Imogen Scott
 Kerrick Newstead
Anette Fritsen
 Laura C-Harries
Lindsay Grime
 Daisy Dawes
Alison GlanvilleJones
 Sam Elliot
Laura Darling
 Martin Gaston
Gillian Kirkland
 Mary-Caitlin Hentz
Sarah Tanat-Jones
 Kirsty Kelly
Jaimie Lane
 Miranda Jackson
Trine Mangernes
 Ailish McA Green
Lindsay McBirnie
 Gina Mortlock
Lucy McCririck
 Richard O'Brien
Elizabeth Walker
 Vidur Nauriyal
Sophie Newell
 Sophie Playle
Marc Noble
 Kirsty Smellie
Fiona Purves
 Frankie Taylor
Genevieve Ryan
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My name is Susan Bartley. I am fifty-six years old and I work as a headmistress
at a girls' private school. I'm not really too sure why anymore but I
think it may have something to do with the smell of the varnished wooden
floors, I like that smell. I have a cat called Mary and a dog called Jack,
named after my son. I take the dog for a walk every day, in the evenings
during summer and in the mornings of a winter, I don't like to be out
in the dark evenings. I enjoy relaxing with a glass of wine, sometimes
with a book, sometimes with a bath. The wine dilutes things and makes
them easier to accept. Like my eyes, old eyes, they're too close together,
too watery, too puffy around the outside. My favourite possesion is the
last mother's day card I got from my son. I had to go back and steal it
one day when my husband was out, I wish I'd taken more because he changed
the locks after that. I went to the beach by our house last weekend, I
didn't quite manage to put both feet on the sand though. I don't sleep
much. There wouldn't be much point anyway, the only dream I have will
never come true. I often think if I went abroad, away from it all, things
might be easier, but I wouldn't know where to go. I suppose if I went
anywhere I'd like to go back. I lie to myself everyday. I have to or I
won't be able to carry on. I'd like to make love again. To have that feeling
of being loved and accepted and forgiven, to be told "I love you". My
son was the last person to say "I love you", and I'll never hear him say
it again. My biggest fear is sharing myself with someone. As long as I
keep myself to myself, then no one can ever really claim I existed. And
if I never existed, then none of this ever happened. Even if no one else
ever does, if none of it happened, at least I can love and accept and
forgive myself. Or pretend I do.
TEXT by Emily Bone
+ IMAGES by Andrew Denholm |
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