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 Luke Allan
Ursula Cheng
 Carolyn Angelo
Tobias Cook
 Tom Benn
Kirsten Cowie
 Emily Bone
Andrew Denholm
 Sarah Christie
Elizabeth Stewart
 Jack Clark
Eileen Glass
 Edward Keeble
Imogen Scott
 Kerrick Newstead
Anette Fritsen
 Laura C-Harries
Lindsay Grime
 Daisy Dawes
Alison GlanvilleJones
 Sam Elliot
Laura Darling
 Martin Gaston
Gillian Kirkland
 Mary-Caitlin Hentz
Sarah Tanat-Jones
 Kirsty Kelly
Jaimie Lane
 Miranda Jackson
Trine Mangernes
 Ailish McA Green
Lindsay McBirnie
 Gina Mortlock
Lucy McCririck
 Richard O'Brien
Elizabeth Walker
 Vidur Nauriyal
Sophie Newell
 Sophie Playle
Marc Noble
 Kirsty Smellie
Fiona Purves
 Frankie Taylor
Genevieve Ryan
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My name is Karen and I am twenty-two. I get paid to make secrets live. I
look and learn until everything shrinks and I can see the outer rings. We're
making lives with my mind; we're doing things that scare me. I like the
smell of salty skin and cowboy boots the colour of crushed wine. My
favourite room is underground, with the computers and The Magic Factory. I
stay sharp by dancing in bars and wearing different people. (I relax by
pretending to be someone else.) The only thing I don't like about my body is
the scar which he said I should never talk about; sometimes I think it's
beautiful but mostly I wear different people and don't feel it. My favourite
possession is The Bible which Fell gave to me; I never realised before but
it's in the patterns, in the air. The last thing I stole was a Chinese
woman's bag. I learnt her hobbies - Squash, Quantum Mechanics, Flower
Arranging, and Emergent Systems - it was the first time I stole a pattern I
fell into. The last time I was naked was when I let out the doves. They vied
for the night and outran the small town bats. I laughed and Fell smiled,
said "You're crazy, Dark." I remember cupping my hand over the special scar;
shielding it. At night I think about all the secret rooms in this town and
sometimes I get worried and ring Fell but he's always praying or whatever so
I have to smoke a cigarette and sit naked on the windowsill. In the dark I
watch doves and wait for the sun to stumble in. One day I want to go to the
place Fell talks about, where corn stretches out and an old farmhouse
stands, creaking. There's an out of service pylon rising into the sky; it's
Fell's *antenna to heaven *or something. The last time I told a lie was
about Fell and Me, naked, I lied because it's closer to the truth and it's
kind of like the special scar...I would like to be more detached... able to not
smoke not drink not dance not fuck and just step back and let the shapes
meld out. No one has ever said they love me. My parents are a secret.
Someone once told me that they thought they loved me but that wasn't me;
they were talking to someone else with different hair and a foreign accent -
I hated being that person but I kept on going back...had to. It's hard to
explain: when I'm others I'm not me...Really not me. I'm scared that one day
I'll stay that other person and just lock myself in.
TEXT by Jack Clark
+ IMAGES by Eileen Glass |
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